I squirm, and ah squirm.
Squirm, squirm, squirm...
I just got the sudden urge to type that. I wonder why. Probably because I was dancing in my office chair to one most lovely song by The Script. Then again, you can't really call my dancing, dancing. So maybe that's why I thought of squirming. Because when I move to the beat, it' looks more like painful, jerky squirming. Interesting.
But today isn't a day for flailing to music. Today is a day of celebration. I'm letting myself write without subject. It feels like I've got this disease. This sickness that crams all these ideas and words into my head. Not so much like a writer's block, more like a writer's traffic jam? All these things want to make it on to paper, but you can only go one at a time, you know? So I guess this right here is the proverbial HOV lane to my thoughts.
Something in the air today. I felt it this morning at practice, running up at the track. The trees swayed a different way. The darkness wasn't moving. The wind whistled a little different. How is it that one little thing can make such a difference in the way you see things? I guess when you feel this way you tend to take on a different perspective of the world around you. Something is growing. Starting to take on a different meaning. The end of June burned up every bit of doubt I had. Almost all the worry and bad dreaming I had taken on after lengthy days of thought. One day changed everything. Several days, now that I think about it, have changed many things. November means so much more to me. And the wind and dead grass that come with it. The frost that sets on the trees and shingles. And those last breaths. Those last few breaths, letting our air rise up into the sky. Carrying promises.
Life has sure become more and more amazing. I couldn't be happier. Hopefully it lasts. I don't think I could live without it lasting.
And here it comes, congestion of SH-Alex. The highways and byways of my mind are so cluttered with thoughts, I'm afraid if I keep typing I'll start talking in circles. Off to laying on the kitchen tile again. Wondering about the future.
And what I'll have for lunch.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
Taking Back Summer.
There was a time when things were simple. Where weekdays we woke up early and got dressed. We brushed our teeth and mom combed our hair so that it hung down past our waists. Down lamp lit neighborhood roads we'd drive and arrive at the same small, pink bricked house with the little mushroom-y tree out front. Three sleepy little girls emerged from the blue suburban and entered into the warm home of a second family.
Deranged family. But family nonetheless.
As mom drove away, off to work, the baby was taken to go finish her sleep while my sister and I would hurry off to one of the back bedrooms where our friends were. Obviously, we were playing Mario Kart64 in pitch darkness. It was a morning ritual I'll never forget. We'd sit on the futon and gaze into the tv and watch in wonder. There were only two controllers, so patience paid off here. But breakfast was always mandatory, and turning off the Nintendo was always hard. But we did it.
Another morning event I'll never forget: breakfast. Eggo waffles piled high, oatmeal packets left for mixing, toast and cereal. My favorites included snowy waffles, and brown sugar with apple cinnamon oatmeal on rainy days. It was always still dark out when we'd eat. Mrs. Alice made sure that we had a good breakfast and that we ate sometime after we'd get to her house. Lunch was a must as well.
The days were full of adventures and frizzy headed little girls, growing and learning, making small mistakes and paying for them how we should, many days at the pool, and hours spent outside. How summer was meant to be spent. I can still remember swimming, and eating, and exploring. Playing in the garage and the "forbidden" game of Worry. Extreme games of hide and seek, discovering a love for music, and the strange hole in the hallway wall [a joint effort of Sam and I]. Oh! And the bad weather days, where the weather got real bad...that was no good. Because I was a chicken [still am], and my friend Lauren freaked out easy as well. Storms did not scare me, but when the lights went out BAM! I was gone.
This is only a small part of what our summer break was like together.
It was a time of growing up. We were the best of friends. Memories that will never be forgotten. Still having those "Oh, guys remember when..." moments. It's stuff I'll have a hard time forgetting. Probably something I won't ever want to forget. It is, however, a time we will never be able to move back to. Days that will not happen again. Though, nothing ever ends really. Our summer days live on in that same back bedroom we played our Mario in. The little wonders of our vacation together will be, for now, remembered through a little collage on the wall - a small window to what we were like back then.
Deranged family. But family nonetheless.
As mom drove away, off to work, the baby was taken to go finish her sleep while my sister and I would hurry off to one of the back bedrooms where our friends were. Obviously, we were playing Mario Kart64 in pitch darkness. It was a morning ritual I'll never forget. We'd sit on the futon and gaze into the tv and watch in wonder. There were only two controllers, so patience paid off here. But breakfast was always mandatory, and turning off the Nintendo was always hard. But we did it.
Another morning event I'll never forget: breakfast. Eggo waffles piled high, oatmeal packets left for mixing, toast and cereal. My favorites included snowy waffles, and brown sugar with apple cinnamon oatmeal on rainy days. It was always still dark out when we'd eat. Mrs. Alice made sure that we had a good breakfast and that we ate sometime after we'd get to her house. Lunch was a must as well.
The days were full of adventures and frizzy headed little girls, growing and learning, making small mistakes and paying for them how we should, many days at the pool, and hours spent outside. How summer was meant to be spent. I can still remember swimming, and eating, and exploring. Playing in the garage and the "forbidden" game of Worry. Extreme games of hide and seek, discovering a love for music, and the strange hole in the hallway wall [a joint effort of Sam and I]. Oh! And the bad weather days, where the weather got real bad...that was no good. Because I was a chicken [still am], and my friend Lauren freaked out easy as well. Storms did not scare me, but when the lights went out BAM! I was gone.
This is only a small part of what our summer break was like together.
It was a time of growing up. We were the best of friends. Memories that will never be forgotten. Still having those "Oh, guys remember when..." moments. It's stuff I'll have a hard time forgetting. Probably something I won't ever want to forget. It is, however, a time we will never be able to move back to. Days that will not happen again. Though, nothing ever ends really. Our summer days live on in that same back bedroom we played our Mario in. The little wonders of our vacation together will be, for now, remembered through a little collage on the wall - a small window to what we were like back then.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Simply Waiting.
When you realize that almost half of your summer vacation has already gone by, you begin to worry. When the new editions of popular publications sport titles of "Back to School Bargains!" and "Falling in Love with Fall" you begin to wonder. Where did my summer go?
I couldn't really tell you where mine went. Mine is feeling kind of worthless right now.
Not that I'm going to turn this post into a few paragraphed self-sob story. Oh no, that's a waste of pixels and type! No, blogging is much better than that, this I know to be true.
A few days ago we had some family leave the house after a few days spending a little of their vacation in the south. Everyone in the north really gets a kick about how hot we live our lives. Because, while it's freezing cold in Colorado at six o' clock in the morning, it's a warm seventy-nine degrees by the time I'm warming up with the cross country team while it's still dark. The adults ran away for a few days to Shreveport in celebration of....whatever there is to celebrate these days. Came back late that Friday, and then we all went to the FC Dallas game for what was one of the best fireworks shows I've seen in a while. It was funny, because there were some pretty interesting families that sat around us in the bleacher-type seats. There were the tiny boys part of local soccer clubs around the area, all good friends apparently, and their parents who knew absolutely every player and every rule to this game [might I point out that one of these kids decided to take on a lisp for the entire two and a half hours]. There were two, pudgy and bleach white children who were playing with some apps on their iTouches and had no interest in the game whatsoever. And then there was us. Nine people who didn't really follow the MLS or care for the game of soccer. We just went to watch because we love sports. And because there were fireworks. And we're very patriotic.
July 5th might as well been one of the best days ever. The Vans Warped Tour is something I hold close to my heart as a means of bringing together my best friends and family. It is the one thing that my cousin, my friends and I kind of bond over. Nine hours spent in the sweltering sun, running around, buying and signing, and of course watching our favorite artists preform. I almost got into the pit at BC13. My heart stopped at the sight of my idols, MegandDia. A Day to Remember was a great way to end the whole thing. And when it was all said and done, we went to Sonic on the way home, sweaty and obviously under the influence of secondhand-whatever-was-in-the-air, and laughed and ate, and laughed some more. Begged my cousin to stay in Texas, and went home and crashed. Its so much bigger than what should be written in a single post. I'll leave the rest to your imagination.
And now we are to present day. My sister is off with a friend to the river for a little time away from home. My sixteenth birthday is so close. Something I've anticipated for a long time. But that whole subject is for this Friday. Work. Running. Heat. Sometimes happiness. Tonight I'll join my family in the Friday ritual of trekking to Market Street and finding the fresh fish that will be the highlight of tonight's feast. And so far, it's been the only thing I've looked foreword to this entire week.
Go figure.
I couldn't really tell you where mine went. Mine is feeling kind of worthless right now.
Not that I'm going to turn this post into a few paragraphed self-sob story. Oh no, that's a waste of pixels and type! No, blogging is much better than that, this I know to be true.
A few days ago we had some family leave the house after a few days spending a little of their vacation in the south. Everyone in the north really gets a kick about how hot we live our lives. Because, while it's freezing cold in Colorado at six o' clock in the morning, it's a warm seventy-nine degrees by the time I'm warming up with the cross country team while it's still dark. The adults ran away for a few days to Shreveport in celebration of....whatever there is to celebrate these days. Came back late that Friday, and then we all went to the FC Dallas game for what was one of the best fireworks shows I've seen in a while. It was funny, because there were some pretty interesting families that sat around us in the bleacher-type seats. There were the tiny boys part of local soccer clubs around the area, all good friends apparently, and their parents who knew absolutely every player and every rule to this game [might I point out that one of these kids decided to take on a lisp for the entire two and a half hours]. There were two, pudgy and bleach white children who were playing with some apps on their iTouches and had no interest in the game whatsoever. And then there was us. Nine people who didn't really follow the MLS or care for the game of soccer. We just went to watch because we love sports. And because there were fireworks. And we're very patriotic.
July 5th might as well been one of the best days ever. The Vans Warped Tour is something I hold close to my heart as a means of bringing together my best friends and family. It is the one thing that my cousin, my friends and I kind of bond over. Nine hours spent in the sweltering sun, running around, buying and signing, and of course watching our favorite artists preform. I almost got into the pit at BC13. My heart stopped at the sight of my idols, MegandDia. A Day to Remember was a great way to end the whole thing. And when it was all said and done, we went to Sonic on the way home, sweaty and obviously under the influence of secondhand-whatever-was-in-the-air, and laughed and ate, and laughed some more. Begged my cousin to stay in Texas, and went home and crashed. Its so much bigger than what should be written in a single post. I'll leave the rest to your imagination.
And now we are to present day. My sister is off with a friend to the river for a little time away from home. My sixteenth birthday is so close. Something I've anticipated for a long time. But that whole subject is for this Friday. Work. Running. Heat. Sometimes happiness. Tonight I'll join my family in the Friday ritual of trekking to Market Street and finding the fresh fish that will be the highlight of tonight's feast. And so far, it's been the only thing I've looked foreword to this entire week.
Go figure.
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