Eyes Open.

In this room there is no light. There is no sound but the soft hum of the fan and clicking of keyboard type. The occasional jingle of tags as the dog scoots around the bed for comfort. There is nothing to see but a girl, wide awake. Tired eyes, wandering mind, and the laptop light that spills over the pillows and on to this person who can't seem to sleep.

Which would be me.

As exhausted as I can be at the end of the day, I have too much on my mind to allow my body to come to rest. iTunes surely helps with this issue, providing me with the mellow sound of steel guitar and drippy acoustics to lull me to sleep. However, most of the time this isn't even enough to soothe my thoughts till they surrender. That's where this blog comes in. But half of my mind belongs on here. Half of it doesn't. It's the way things go.

Rolled over, growling to myself, I close my eyes and see what could just be a blender of memories and mindset. I really should be focusing on the important, easy things that could lead my head to the pillow. I stay in the upright position though, staring straight to the ceiling. I take a deep breath and wriggle into some kind of position. I flop over. Say my prayers. Roll. Close those eyes.
And I don't even dream.

It's frustrating to sleep when you have dreams you can't remember. Or absolutely no dreams at all. It's hard to jolt awake very early in the morning, slathered in a cold sweat, teeth chattering, eyes blurry. It gets boring very fast trying to find something to do when you can't sleep. You want to listen to music, but that's too loud. You want to read, but that requires light. You want to talk to anyone, but it's much too late. As much as the night is wonderful, it comes with so many complications.

I'm thrilled to inform you though, that tonight shall not be such hard times. I am drunk off of friday night lights and open road. As soon as this is finished, I shall dive into a world of slumber and stillness. I will dream of nothing. But I will sleep so well. Surrounded by the moonlight and the cold of my room.

Football, by the way, played great tonight. What a way to end the game, winning by two point conversion. It's so fulfilling to drop everything and jump the gates to storm the field. You feel so free and amazed. All on this high from this sudden burst of school spirit. You can't help but breathe in the cold air and thrust those letters into the air. Rock to the alma mater and close those eyes again. Realize where you are. Dream while you still can.

So that girl who was laying in her room is still laying there, typing away on her computer. The blue and gold stripes of her hockey jersey are reflecting off of the keyboard as she finishes type. Her hair sticking straight up, eyes in a daze. She's done for the night. She's tired. She's done.
Anticipating break. Anticipating sleep. Anticipating everything that could happen this week.
Waiting for it all. Wondering about things.
Patience paying off for what might be in the end.